Today I have my first russian class of the quarter and I am terrified. Okay, terrified might be an exaggeration, but I am really not looking forward to it. I know that I am going to be the worst in my class. Eek! Of course, I know that I will freeze in class today and it will most likely be more than once. It’s not my fault I get so nervous. It only ever happens with russian related things. Am I being a big baby about this? Well, maybe but still it’s hard.
Something else that makes me nervous is guys. There is a guy that I like but I’m pretty sure that he does not feel that same. That’s fine with me because right now just having a crush is enough for me. I want to be single for a big longer before I start a new relationship with anyone. This is guy though, lets just call him BB, he just makes me feel like a middle school girl with a giant crush on a boy. I get all nervous and I don’t know what to say. It’s not cute because when I get nervous I can get weird and awkward. Not cute. Also I really enjoy talking to him and I don’t want to ruin our friendship. We might not be the closest of friends but I still don’t want to lose him as a friend. If we are only meant to be friends then that’s fine.
When I first met him I had a crush on him and then when we recently started talking again I started to like him again. Part of me thinks that is a sign that maybe I should pursue this but at the same time I don’t want to complicate things.
I should go get ready for class. This class is 50 mins long and that is 50 mins too long. I’m going to talk to my professor because I feel that maybe I am not ready to be in the third year russian class. Please have mercy on me, Larry (that’s my professor).