Rough Patch

Tags

Change, Long Distance Relationships, postaday, Relationships, Russia, Silence, Skype, Study Abroad

I need to stop falling asleep in front of my laptop because it’s now turned into a bad habit. One of the reasons that I am falling asleep in front of my laptop is because my boyfriend and I are having relationship problems.

This semester I started noticing that we were drifting apart which is probably due to the fact that I am studying abroad. Then I started realizing that we were more friends than a relationship. At some point the romance was kind of zapped out of our relationship and our conversations became so dull. Now we started to talk over Skype more often but there are long periods of silence in between and it frustrates me to have such meaningless conversations just for the sake of talking to each other. This is what our conversations have turned into:

Him: Hey

Me:Hihi

Him: What’s up?

Me: Nothing. You?

Him: Nothing

Yesterday, he wanted to Skype but I became really irritated because he had nothing to say.  It was a waste of time because most of it was filled up with silence and the “so…” or “yeah…”.

The main problem is that I’ve noticed that he has always been the same person and I’m not. I’ve grown since are relationship first started and I feel he has not or maybe our relationship hasn’t grown. Our relationship might be stuck in High School and I don’t want that.

To be honest, I’m just so confused as to what to do right now and what I want. I’ve told him how I feel a few days ago so hopefully things will improve.

After rereading this, I feel like it sounds as if I am putting the blame on my boyfriend and I’m not. I’m at fault too.

Valentine’s Day? No, not for me.

Tags

Anniversary, Boyfriend, Long Distance Relationships, Love, Personal, Relationships, Russia, Study Abroad, Valentine's Day

I’ve never cared for Valentine’s Day and I was never one to buy little cards for my friends. Although those little cards are so cute and utterly lame. Until four years ago, I never had someone to celebrate Valentine’s Day with and I never had a valentine. Everytime this holiday would roll around, I would always groan with disapproval, not because I was bitter that I was alone but because people spend so much money on a day that doesn’t matter. However, four years ago, everything changed on Valentine’s Day, my least favorite holiday.

On, February 14, 2008, my boyfriend and I got together. He was my first boyfriend and I don’t think I have ever been so terrified and happy at the same time. He’s just perfect for me because he let’s me live my dreams and doesn’t hold me back. Of course, he didn’t want me to leave him for a year but he understood how much this meant to me. Most of the time that we have been together, we have been apart because of school and now because I am in Russia. We have been doing the whole long distance relationship since September 2009 because that is when went off to college. The longest time we spend together is in Summer and that’s about 3 months. Studying abroad sucks sometimes because you aren’t there for special days like today.

We aren’t able to spend our anniversary together and all I want to do is have him in my arms. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not crying and that I don’t feel lonely because I am and I do. Thinking back, I don’t think we normally spend our anniversary together because we are usually apart but it’s harder this time. I can’t go home for the weekend to see him so I have to wait until May.

The other day I asked him if we can have a makeup anniversary in May. He said yes so May 24th is our make up anniversary. I don’t know what we will do that day. I guess we will do what people do on their anniversary. I’m not so sure what that is. I don’t just want to go out for dinner. That seems boring. I have plenty of time to think about it.

In These Arms-Bon Jovi—> Such a great song! I always tell my boyfriend that I’m going to serenade him with this song one day.

Happy Valentine’s day! Happy whatever it is that you celebrate today. Tell people you love them and care about them everyday. Don’t just take one day out of the year to make someone feel special.

Why won’t you speak?

Tags

classes, Cold, language, Long Distance Relationships, Russia, school, Skype, St. Petersburg, Study Abroad, Test, weather, Winter

Today I had a placement test that would determine what language classes I would be placed in and well…I didn’t do so well. I need more practice and I need to get over my shyness to speak in Russian. Honestly, I’m ashamed at how bad my Russian is after spending 3.5 months here last semester. It’s silly and I beat myself up for it. That’s why I must change my ways.

I must study more and I must talk! Talk! TALK! It’s easier said than done. (sigh)

Tomorrow I will post up my schedule of classes.

Also it’s so cold! I hope that things start to warm up but that probably won’t happen very soon. It’s suppose to be warmer tomorrow which is very nice. Walking to the metro stop from school was somewhat unpleasant because my nose was very cold. However, it wasn’t horrible. It could have been worse and I am thankful that it was not.

On a more personal note, I am missing my boyfriend like crazy! We have a skype date so that will be the bee’s knees. It will be so nice to hear his voice. Если только он здесь… (If only he was here…)

In a war against the wind and other things

Tags

classes, Long Distance Relationships, Love, postaday2011, Russia (Fall Semester), school, Study Abroad

Activity of the day: trying not to be blown away by the wind

It was extremely windy today and it was exhausting. Having the wind push me from this direction and that direction, takes so much energy out of me. I don’t know how but it does. Now my head hurts and my poor ears had a beating too. I forgot to take my beanie today. Actually, no I’m lying. I didn’t forget it. Personally, I don’t like the way that I look in a beanie so I choose not to wear it. Did I regret it a bit? Yea. Yea. You can’t win in a war against the wind but that doesn’t mean that I won’t try. That St. Petersburg wind is going down! I’m ready to collapse now. Is it really only 7:24PM?

It’s been a while….

Tags

Family, Friendship, Long Distance Relationships, Love, Personal, Relationships, Study Abroad

I know I say I would write more often but I do not see how people have so much commitments to their blogs. I guess that I just feel that I have nothing of importance to share with others. I’ll start to put more effort into this blog because I really feel bad when I abandon projects.

A lot of time I do have things that I want to write here but then my mind goes blank when I actually sign on. Something that has been on my mind for some time now is my relationship and how I will work that out when I am abroad. Currently, I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend, but he only lives two hours away from me when I am at school in Santa Barbara. Its hard being a part for some time but it is manageable because I can go home for the weekend to see him. However, I will not be able to do this when I go abroad and I know that it will hurt to be apart from him for so long.

Friends have asked me how our relationship will work out or if we are going to part ways before I go abroad but the answer is obvious to me. Of course, we will still stay together when I go abroad because we already made up our minds that we want to grow old together. Now you might think that I am a naive little girl or something but I honestly see myself raising a family with my boyfriend (we talk about kids all the time). I know that it will be hard to be abroad and temptations will be around but I do not want my relationship to fall apart. I do not know exactly how we will work out our relationship but it will work out.

I feel the same about friendships and family. I do not want to neglect my friends and not talk to them when I am abroad. If I do not talk to them and make the effort, then our friendship will just fall apart. When I was in high school, I had a friend who studied abroad for our junior year and afterward we weren’t really close friends anymore. She never really bothered talking to me when she was abroad and that really affected our friendship. It really hurt that she didn’t talk to me and I our friendship never recovered from that (we aren’t friends now). The reason I bring this up is because I do not want to do what she did to me to other people because I know how much it hurt. Also I love my friends and cherish them very much so I want them to be in my life for a very long time.

As for family, I am not too worried because we will always be connected since we are blood. I will call home a lot though because I know my mom worries a lot about me (I am the youngest and the her only daughter). My mom worries about me when I am in Santa Barbara and that’s only two hours away from Los Angeles. Plus I know that my mom will be sad if I do not call because she will feel like I just forgot about my family.